Hey everyone! So we’re back to written recaps because, well, you guys just preferred them. Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll. And if you didn’t vote then I CURSE THEE. It was a night of prediction fails but what exactly went down at Over The Limit? Read on.
So the show opened with the People Power Battle Royal. It began on the WWE Youtube Pre-Show and spilled over to the main show. Eve set it up where the winner would face either Cody Rhodes or Santino Morella that night. It was your usual group of people lucky to get a paycheck including Khali whose knees you can actually hear creaking through the TV. The surprise entrant, bland Superstar Christian. I don’t like Christian, never have. I find him dull. It became clear immediately who would win.
Another entrant was the downtrodden Miz who has put up with a lot of shit recently. It came down to Miz and Christian but, predictably, Christian won. He hinted that he’d face Santino later that night.
Then we had Vickie Guerrero whose dress was a strange mix of extremely sex with availability for keyhole surgery. I wasn’t sure if she was trying to turn me on or if she was just prepped for Kidney surgery. Dolph Ziggler also made a bold fashion choice with a diamond studded dog collar. The annoying thing is, he even made that look not gay. He’s the Ridiculously Photogenic Guy of the WWE. Dolph in a dog collar also kinda turned me on as I’ve always wanted to make him my bitch. Dolph along with Jack Swagger went up against the team of Kofi Kingston and R-Truth. I’m going to start calling Kofi “Betty Ford” because he seems to constantly associate with drug addicts.
The match, for the titles, was your average fair and Kofi and Dolph did some fantastic work. The quality of the match, however, was overshadowed by the awful commentary. I get its Lawler’s job to be mean about Vickie but not throughout the entire damn match. It was annoying and, even more annoyingly, Dolph and Swagger lost. Not so annoyingly, Abraham Washington was nowhere to be found. THANK. GOD.
Backstage, powerbitch Eve and David Otunga chatted to Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks. They requested that the two go into the crowd and destroy any signs. I’ve often dreamed of a wrestler destroying something of mine… but I don’t mean a sign.
We then had Divas action and I’m starting to become one of those annoying people who say something is “definitely” happening when it’s not. You know it’s bad when dirtsheets seem better informed. I’m obsessed with Kharma and when she’ll return and I presumed it’d happen at OTL but it didn’t. What we did get, though, was fantastic. Beth and Layla worked great together and the match was outstanding. Also, it was long! They were given time and the two were evenly matched in terms of skill. Layla picked up the win to retain her Divas Title. Their match, however, was also ruined by bad commentary. Booker T said that Layla shouldn’t wrestle in a knee brace as it’s “impossible”. Erm, talk to Stone Cold, idiot.
Backstage, Randy Orton was being interviewed for reasons I can’t explain. I nodded off momentarily because even his voice is boring but perked up when Jericho entered the room. Jericho said he’d win because he’s the best in the world. This annoys me because his whole feud with Punk was over that moniker. He lost the right to use it. I get he’s a bad guy but it’s called character development.
Then it was Fatal Fourway time as Orton, Sheamus, Y2J and Alberto Del Rio all faced off. This wasn’t a match I was looking forward to but I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised. It was quite gripped and I didn’t know who was going to win. I hadn’t been this torn since I accidentally opened two different porn movies and had to decide which one to watch. I went with plumber who gets grease on his shorts. Thanks for asking.
It was melee in every sense of the word and it seemed that Orton was going to RKO his way to victory but Sheamus swooped in to get the win.
Backstage, Eve chatted to Cody Rhodes. I had to re-watch their chat 20 times because for the first 19 I kept yelling “BITCH, STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN” furiously at the screen. The two chatted about how brave J-Lau is and that Christian will win the US Title and give it legitimacy. Cody expressed concern that Christian was too rusty but Captain ChariZZZma overheard and decided he’d go after Cody’s Intercontinental Title instead. Douche.
Then The Miz came out for his second match of the night, this time against Brodus Clay. The Miz said he was sick of the WWE Universe fawning over the Funkasaurus because he’s so ridiculous. I agree with Miz and his beautiful bouncing boobs, but then thinks took a turn for the worse… Miz danced. I love Miz and I think he is awesome but this was embarrassing. Miz’s career has crashed so hard I’m thinking of renaming him Princess Diana. After copying the dance from Thriller, Miz went up against Brodus and lost. Again. To a human dinosaur. Seriously. Princess freakin’ Diana.
Curt and Tyler then decided to REKS some signs… I’m sorry. That won’t happen again. The confiscated several signs and decided to tear them up. It was a bit brutal but completely delicious and, it being Reks and Hawkins I half expected the signs to end up victorious but these two finally got a win.
Cody Rhodes then came out and said he was glad he was never bought up in North Carolina as they’re all pretty much stupid. I love this man. He then had to face ChriZZZtian for the IC Title. I must admit it was a good match but that was only because Cody made it look so good. Now yes, I wish to ride Cody’s penis like it was a fairground attraction but he’s also very talented and he deserves a better opponent. Sorry, Peeps. Cody, however, lost and Christian picked up the win. Grumble.
CM Punk then got interviewed and basically talked about how much D-Bry had changed. Then AJ went all shadow lurker. It was kinda awkward.
I’ve decided not to recap the Punk v Bryan match and I implore you to watch it for yourselves. It was many, many shades of awesome but I did wish it’d gone on a little longer. The two are very talented and I am very happy to see that it looks like this feud will continue. I do think WWE missed a trick with this one because they should’ve somehow included AJ. They hinted at it enough but, story is story and we’ll see if that comes back around.
Backstage once more to a grinning Teddy Long. Teddy said that he has no desires on becoming GM but he believes that Eve and Otunga might end up running WWE should J-Lau have lost. I would be SO up for that.
Then WWE forgot this was a PPV and not an episode of NXT and offered us Camacho vs Rybeck. The crowd decided to show their support for Skip Sheffield’s new gimmick by chanting “Goldberg”. I do love the WWE Universe. I really do.
Then it was time for the big one. J-Lau vs John Cena. J-Lau was wearing an outfit for cycling but he still looked good. Many fans has argued that this was a ridiculous match but it was supposed to be. Cena believed that there could be no outside interference and you must admit, the entire think was VERY funny. The two of them sat, J-Lau slumped in the commentary booth pretending to be Booker T. It was genius. Kudos to J-Lau.
Then things took a turn for the sucky. J-Lau tried to run away but then was dragged back by Big Show. Cena went for the AA but Big Show hit the WMD and J-Lau won. It was too predictable, so predictable I didn’t even predict it as I thought there’d be a swerve. I was wrong and instead we’re left with an awful few weeks of mean Big Show. It really sucks, WWE. Cena is your top guy and you’re sticking him with Lesnar and Show? Despicable.
So that was Over The Limit. I thought it was mostly really good.
What did you think?
Until next time,